A: It stands for Horrible Medical Office, but originally,
it came from the phrase "Hey Moe" as in Moe of the Three
Stooges who pioneered the most economical medical procedure known
today, which is if you want to forget about your pain, poke yourself
in the eye.
Q: Does all care require pre-certification?
A: No, only care that you need.
Q: After joining, how do I know how to find a good doctor?
A: All of those on the list will do what is best for you,
as long as it's economical and we tell them it's OK.
If you want a good doctor, you should go to one not on the list.
Q: Can I get coverage for my pre-existing condition?
A: Yes, as long as you don't expect us to pay for
it.
Q: What happens if I want alternative treatment to medicine?
A: You'll need alternative forms of payment.
Q: What if I have a heart attack, a stroke, surgery, or
an old condition, all of which may require long-term rehabilitation?
A: Find a cheap doctor or a great stock because our policy
is: "If you can stand, you can walk. If you can walk, you
are well. And if you are well, we don't pay."
Q: My plan only covers generic drugs, which I heard are
even less safe than usual. What if I want a brand name?
A: Convince that particular drug company to offer us a
better kickback, or pay for your doctor to go to Hawaii. If that
doesn't work, poke yourself in the eye.
Q: I have a $120 per month premium, my doctor's visits are
$360, and my co-pay is $5 per /visit. How do you profit or not lose
money?
A: The doctor promises us not to provide any treatments
that cost us any money, and we promise to send his nurses enough
co-pays to cover their salary and the doctor's rent. The
drug companies cover the golf, tennis or whatever else it is that
doctors do anyway.
Q: What do I do if I get sick when I am away?
A: You really should wait until you get home to get sick
because we do not have any deals worked out with out-of-town doctors.
Q: I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor will
not allow me to go. Can a general practitioner really correct your
spine, write a prescription for glasses, and perform a heart transplant
in his office?
A: Listen, you got an HMO so you can have affordable coverage
right? Well, you might as well have it all done in one place for
one price where you know you are covered. All you are risking
is the $10 co-payment, so there really is no harm in giving him
a shot.
Dr. Mercola's Comment:
This is a great article to
who might be looking for a laugh to lighten up their day. The author of this article,
Dr. Ben Lerner, is a chiropractor who developed The Center for Maximized
Living, which is the second-largest practice in the history of the
chiropractic profession. Through his work with thousands of patients
he discovered a proven pathway to build health instead of merely
treating disease, which is a major part of the vision
of this Web site.
