FAN CAMPAIGN Bulletin #27: An elemental look at the fluoridation program
THE FLUORIDE ACTION NETWORK
www.fluoridealert.orgFAN CAMPAIGN Bulletin #27: An elemental look at the fluoridation program.
April 15, 2004Dear All,
As we all await eagerly the appearance of Chris Bryson's book "The Fluoride Deception" in our bookstores, here is a lighter look at the kind of workings in government agencies which makes the continuation of the fluoridation program possible. This formally classified document came to us from Albert Burns via Cliff Honicker. It was obtained under the Freedom of Humor Act. It was held up for two weeks!
Enjoy.
Paul Connett
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.
Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
PS Governmentium has an enormous attraction for fluorine.